Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

The ‘State’ of Texas …… (hmmmmm. ….).

An American man is walking around Alton Towers attraction park, when he starts to talk to a man from the north-east of England. Thumbs in his trouser belt loops and his bold cowboy hat there for all to marvel at, he says, “Why, hello there.  I’m from the state of Texas.’

‘Oh, ay?’

“And where are you from?” continued the American.

‘Well, I’m from Morpeth, me like.’

Interested in knowing more, the American asks, “and what state is Morpeth in?”

“It’s in a bloody hell of a state, man!’ replied the ‘Geordie’.

See what I mean?  English humour resting on the understanding of the word ‘state’. A Spanish friend couldn’t get the punch, until he realised the two uses of the word ‘state’ in this joke.

Don’t you just love ’em?


English Humour.

Living here in the non-tourist part of Spain, we regularly talk to our Spanish neighbours and friends and I have been told on more than one occasion, that Spanish people love the English sense of humour.  They tell me that English people can laugh at themselves, something which Spanish people can’t do.  Of course, when I try to explain a joke to some Spanish person, I am aware that many English jokes are based on the use of a word or phrase which other cultures might not be able to identify with, as they use words in different ways.

Anyway, words aside, I’m going to post the odd joke here because, sometimes, laughter is the best thing.  They’ll be posted under the category of ‘jokes’ and will appear alongside any graffiti under the ‘scrapbook’ tag.


Airline Services.

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He that
decides because she’s got a uniform on, she’s probably an off-duty
flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline
she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto

‘We love to fly and it shows’.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto

‘Winning the hearts of the world’.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines

‘Going beyond expectations’.

The woman looks at him sternly and says ‘What the f**k do you want?’

‘Ah!’ he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. ‘Ryanair.’